Blog Post #4

It's Complicated

It's rather amazing how complicated PTSD is
There is a lot to consider in this tricky biz
I have memories of war fused in my brain
I still miss my buddies who were slain

My fight or flight response has been in play for decades
Then there's that intrusive thought that pervades
I have survivors guilt that hurts a lot
With all of the emotions that it brought

Became addicted to adrenaline in that damn war
In civilian life I chose to continue the gore
Did all kinds of things to feed that habit
Stayed busy running around like a rabbit

All kinds of chemicals circulating around
There is the man made compound
Can't forget the endogenous high
That can also make you fly

There's hyper vigilance and anxiety
There is avoidance of society
Also anger, boredom and grief
Disrespect for the Commander-in-Chief

Throw in the fact that I didn't know what was wrong
No wonder I didn't know where I belong
All of this sure did mess up my life
Now I know why I couldn't keep a wife

In this poem this man, a Vietnam War veteran, struggling with PTSD. He's been struggling with PTSD for 45 years. I could not even imagine for a second this man's fear, pain and struggle. Everyday after this war he still needs to fight to keep himself alive. It appears to me that he's so angry with himself, it cause his PTSD. When he states he "became addicted to adrenaline in that damn war" the war gave him so much hype he cannot control himself in a civilian normal day life. A person struggling with PTSD has to keep themselves occupied or else they'll go insane, which they already are, but in their minds its what keeps them going. I would define PTSD as an anxiety-based mental and physical health disease that is initiated by a direct involvement in and/or observation of severe traumatic events in which the victims life is threatened. These traumatic events are permanently embedded in the brain to create chronic symptomatic effects and occasional immediate acute recall when a trigger similar to the original traumatic event is experienced. PTSD is a horrible disease and and it truly ruins lives of people who suffer this disease.