The Perfect Plan for the Poor

The Untied States government has been extremely effective in its attempts to reduce the amount of impoverished people in America. However, despite the government officials' valiant efforts in doing absolutely nothing (which, bless their corrupt souls, didn't make the poverty problem any worse so we really should be thanking them), I believe there are better ways to get the poor at least off the streets. In fact, what I am suggesting will not only reduce the amount of impoverished individuals that the public sees, it will also allow the rich a bit of down time, because they clearly exhaust themselves with all of the work they do, namely professional sports players, actors, celebrities, the Kardashians, the types of people who just work so hard, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for their money and lifestyle. My four-point plan, (guaranteed to be just as effective as Obama's four-point plan in Syria against ISIS), will allow the hardworking wealthy some time to themselves while scooping the poor up off the street, solving nearly all of America's problems right here and now in one fell swoop.
Imagine there are no poor people on the street. The public will be happy. The city roads will be much less tight and crowded, giving citizens more room to get to the nearest McDonald's faster than ever before. We can tell China that they might have more scientific breakthroughs than us, but we have no poor people living on the street. Why, how ever is this possible? I propose that we, in short, round up all of the impoverished individuals inhabiting the inner cities and streets, divide them up into categories based on their physical ability to work, and send them to serve the rich. The strongest individuals will travel to the mansion gardens to plant, weed, and grow flora for the rich to stare at all day as they work in their hot tubs by the pool on the roof. The more domestic poor people will cook for the rich inside their homes, so they don't have to leave the mansion to go out to dinner, because with all the hard work they do there's just no time to go out to restaurants. Even the impoverished children will have a place in this system, for they can walk the pocket pets of the rich (as long as they don't forget to put on the doggie coats and booties). The very same system worked absolutely perfectly for the serfs landlords of Russia during the Middles Ages; the serfs only rebelled a few times a decade! By bringing back the old manorial system of Russia, we not only give the impression of a poverty-free America (because the impoverished will be busy working all day), we give the wealthy a little bit of privilege. Workaholics, like poor Kim Kardashian, will finally have a little time to be outside, get some surgery done (to rescue aesthetic imperfections and make them suitable), do what they wish, and live a little bit.
In addition to the privilege of working for the wealthy, because the government is ever so helpful and merciful, the poor will even receive a meal ticket that entitles two whole meals, everyday! This way, the poor absolutely cannot complain about this perfect system because they receive so many benefits from it! How can they protest two meals guaranteed, every single day? Of course, if they get sick, or have other obligations for a day or two that prevents them from working, they cannot cash in tickets for a meal because they haven't earned them the way the wealthy earn their meals 24/7. Some may ask, where will the poor sleep, if not with the rich? (The rich sleep with enough people already). Well, the serfs of Europe often didn't have a place to sleep for the night and almost 4 in 10 survived to age 12, so I think those odds are sufficient enough compared to the amount that would perish without my flawless plan. In regards to schooling, European serfs didn't go to school either. Ever. They turned out alright, didn't they? In summary, the plan goes as follow:
1) Round up the poor.
2) Catagorize them according to physical ability.
3) Assign each impoverished individual (all ages) to a wealthy mansion in need.
4) Have the poverty-stricken population work serf-style for the wealthy because, let's face it, doesn't the entirety of America do that anyway?